How to know whether you are self-aware?
Self-awareness is a journey that never really reaches an end, rather than a final state which is what we often search for when looking for it. That is because in life, we go through a process of constant change, so naturally who we are changing as well. There’s a noticeable difference between being aware and only believing you are, and statistics, according to Dr. Tasha Eurich, an organizational psychologist show that only 10-15% of people are truly self-aware, while the remaining 85% believe they are more aware than they actually are. This means that most of us, yeah – those who are reading this article right now are probably not as self-aware as we think we are. And that’s okay, because we’re all on this journey together and we’re all learning. Some of us are more aware internally, while others pay more attention to how they are impacted by the external factors, and both are being self-aware. Knowing we might not be as aware as we think isn’t so bad – it can become incredibly helpful to sort out our priorities and learn how impactful self-awareness is in life.
How to dive into the depth of self-awareness?
Learn to be okay with yourself, by yourself and take yourself on „solo dates”. While it might sound a bit lonely and not especially alluring at first – this is the most efficient way to truly begin listening to your thoughts and observing them. Notice how different we act when surrounded by others – not even on purpose, but it just naturally happens. Being alone comes with an ability to understand what you’re feeling, why you’re feeling it and being aware of it, even if it’s not an easy emotion. We often run away from tougher emotions, because it’s easier to just not pay attention to them, but that isn’t being aware. It often seems like you are just not pitying yourself and focusing on other things, but the truth is that it’s running away from reality. We always have enough time to take a moment to be alone, listen to ourselves, observe. It’s just very challenging.
Big life events
That’s also the reason why we become most self-aware when something unexpected happens in our life, or an event that changes our usual routines. We get a new job opportunity, or lose a job, become a parent, get married, lose someone close to us, go through a breakup, move to a different country, etc. it’s the big things that happen in life, the “major” events. These often bring new roles to our lives – when you lose a job you must find a new one and adapt to the changes, when you become a parent suddenly your world revolves around your child, when you move in with your partner you connect your individual lives. Those situations give you a ton of opportunities to learn fresh perspectives, open up to new experiences, observe how you feel and how you’re doing within the new environments.
Curiosity over judgment
When we live with curiosity rather than judgement we automatically open up to new experiences and outcomes in life. We let go of the blocks we held onto, and we begin to “explore”. We hold many “projections” in life, such as being convinced that we will fail if we try something new, or that someone will make fun of us if we ask them out for a coffee, that we will hurt ourselves if we try a new yoga position, etc. I like to call it “projections”, because they aren’t exactly real – just like a projection which you see on the wall but cannot touch it. Here are a couple of ways to be more mindful in intentionally collecting your everyday insights:
- Hear out other people’s opinions, they can be useful! What others tell you can be very helpful, even if you don’t like it. Hear them out and then decide what you want to do with it. You might completely ignore it later, but some opinions can be truly valuable!
- Talking with others orders your thoughts. While self-awareness is about YOU – others play a big role in our lives. Through a simple conversation we might learn something new about ourselves, how we enjoy to be treated, how we feel around other people and often – her interesting things from or conversation’s partner’s experience.
A little quiz
Read these questions and try to answer them truthfully, like no one is watching.
- What is my purpose in life? Did I already find it?
- DO I hold on to values I should let go?
- What is something I find inspiring?
- What is something that brings me joy?
- Who am I, really?
- Am I happy in the place I am in life right now?
- Do I surround myself with people who drain my energy?
- Do I listen to my family more than myself?
Hopefully these will help guide you to becoming more self aware and support this journey.
Much love xx